The picture above has nothing to do with our consulate appointment. This has just been in every one of our hotel rooms. Alarming to say the least.
Today is our appointment at the US Consulate 8:30. We have to stop by the medical office to pick up our medical reports to bring with us. Good thing. My stomach is going bananas. (not feeling good)
In the lobby of the medical building there is a vending machine with wine bottles and liquor. So odd. The legal drinking age here is either 16 or 18. But Shaiyan tells us it is not enforced.
We got our medical forms and walked across the street to the US Consulate. We had to push our way through hundreds of Chinese all in line to get their visas. So many people. Luckily we had a different line to get in. We got to our floor along with our group. One of us had to take an oath (Kyle did along with about ten other parents at the same time). And then we had to meet with one of the officers and answer some standard questions. They will work on Claire’s visa and have it ready for us by tomorrow at 3:30. I would have done anything to keep that visa appointment! (Claire is still a Chinese citizen until we land on US soil.)
We got a bunch more paperwork. This time we got a brown envelope that has to be opened by a customs officer after we land in America. We are not allowed to open it. (Sidebar - we have had so many conversations with the other couples here. We feel like we are on The Amazing Race and Phil is going to meet us in Hong Kong. I dared one of the other guys to drive the bus today. :))
Interesting - 66,000 Chinese children have been adopted in the past 15(ish) years. The vast majority of visas issued each year go to children who are leaving China and going to the US.
Got back to the hotel and had lunch. We are losing our steam to experiment and explore. And I keep telling Claire I think she will really like America.
(We were not allowed to bring cameras to the US Consulate - so no pictures today.)
One other random observation - toddler’s pants here are split in the crotch. And I see quite a few kids just naked under there without a diaper. And we have seen people letting their kids pee and poop in bags on the street. Or just on the street. Something important to change in order for this country to emerge from the emerging world.
My prayers until now have been “survival” prayers. Not relationship prayers. “God help me get through something”. Some minute some thing. This afternoon Kyle went downstairs to settle up our bill, and it occurred to me to turn praise music on. Claire and I were playing on the ground. And praise music never felt so good and so right. A little Hillsong and a little Chris Tomlin is so so so good for the soul. So good. Some tears, some singing. The song “From The Day You Saved My Soul”. So appropriate to sing with Claire. Claire is God’s first. He has known her since she was in her birth mommy’s tummy. We are the lucky family who gets to spend her life with her. But she has always belonged to God and she always will. God has a plan for this little girl’s life. And Kyle and I are so smitten with her - we can’t wait to see what God has for her. (And wow did her birth mom miss out. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of a new stage of emotional processing. I know we will “survive” this. Better than survive. So much better.)
This afternoon she crawled all the way away from me to explore the room. She is almost never more than a foot away from me. Even when she sleeps. I’m encouraged. She is getting comfortable. I just keep thinking about what it would be like for one of my boys to be ripped from everything they have ever known and go to a new family and a new country. I have to remember that with Claire. And not allow my hope to cloud what I want to believe instead of what might really be processing inside her.
And in lighter news - I’ve made my grocery list for when I get home. I have a feeling this grocery bill will be close to $400. It has everything on it. I don’t even know what I want to eat because my taste buds are so confused right now. But I’m buying every single thing I love in the grocery store.
And I’ve started thinking about what girls time will look like with this little beauty. Mani/ Pedis. Shopping trips. I realized yesterday I can start thinking about clothes for her. It was a black hole for me until I knew her. I’m getting excited.
Once we get on that plane to come home - champagne for me. I’m done with the beer. I’ve “birthed” this baby. We are officially getting to know each other.
We are going downstairs in a few minutes to have dinner with the other families we have been traveling with. Half of us had our visa appointments today and the other half will have theirs tomorrow. We want to get pictures of the kids together. And pictures of us. This is an incredibly emotional two weeks. And we have experienced deep things together. Deeper and more meaningful than the surface relationships I have at home will ever experience. (Makes me really desire “real” out of every relationship I have.) These are people we can immediately get real with. And immediately laugh at something we are experiencing because it is so crazy. This is pretty amazing group of people. And we will always have a piece of them, and Claire will always have a piece of them. She lived her first 14 months with their children as her siblings. Abel cries, and she immediately turns. She knows his cry. Sloane and Samuel know each other. They run and play together. And there the beauty of adoption and the awfulness of abandoned children collide again. These families. There is something so special about a group of people that you can be so honest with - “My outside doesn’t match the crazy I’m feeling inside today”. And we are all there. And get it.
Our group - these people have sacrificed in ways only adoptive parents can understand. Quite a few have children back home. (One woman has three others at home - Ian was adopted - she and her husband have just adopted another girl, and she is pregnant and due in December. And she is an internal medicine doc. In other news, she confirmed that one of the girls who was adopted on this trip came with the Mumps. Seems they only do an “MR” vaccine in China. Not an “MMR”.)
Kyle went downstairs this afternoon to see if there was a large room we could all use - order pizza and hang out for a bit. Front desk people said no. We didn’t completely understand if it was because they already have a rat problem or they think there will be rat problem if we bring food in. Either way - gross. So gross. So we ordered pizza and all met in the outdoor playground area on the 4th floor. (How crazy is this - we order Papa Johns, and it tastes just like home!) I think this was really the first time we were able to be as close to ourselves as possible. We had so much fun remembering this trip together. I think we all lived it in the moment in memories if that makes sense. And now we all had a bit of ourselves back and could really have fun and laugh with all the crazy we have been through. We were remembering picking up David and Angela at a gas station (that’s a stretch) on a street on the outskirts of Jinan. And driving to have passport pictures taken immediately after picking up our children. And trying to get the children to all look into the camera while they were in shock. Getting off the train in Jinan with every single one of our suitcases and having only 3 minutes to do so. Using the squatty potties - so so so so disgusting. We know these people. And we were so blessed with such a fun group. We really kept each other going. A few of us have interacted with other groups and none have bonded like we did. These are some special people. And these families have children that are as close to blood relatives to Claire as possible. And it is amazing to see how far each of these kids has come in just a week. I know there is much more to come. We will keep remembering the stories.
Random - I just noticed there are actually three languages on the wall next to the elevators in the hotel - Chinese, English, and Arabic. Hmmm.
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