(Think I may buy myself a nice wok when we get home. Or put it on my Christmas list.)
Kyle has been the jokester, the funny guy this whole trip. And now we both are just feeling like we are not ourselves. Picking up Claire today. Our child. Everything about this has just seemed so crazy. So right and so crazy at the same time. There is so much unknown. But I believe we will look back on this one day and know that God was with us every step of the way. I know it in moments right now. But I also just feel like He’s carrying us. Literally.
Missing my boys SO SO SO SO much. I know they are having so much fun. We Skype every day. Graham I think is the most distracted and actually asked Bebe if we could call him back later (just a few minutes ago) - he wanted to continue to soak in the tub. Yeah - his words. That kid is living the life. BeBe told us when they did his prayers last night (Pleases, Sorries, Thank Yous is what we do), that he has been so good and has so enjoyed the only-child life that they literally didn’t have any sorries to say. Graham had a week-long sleepover with one of his cousins last week. Went to cooking camp and came home and re-made his recipes with Lila for dinners for Bebe and Buddy. This weekend he has Uncle Bear and Aunt Megan. Brooks and Tanner - they seem like they are having such a good time. And Mom and Dad are so so so good with them. But I think they are a little more emotional at times. Mostly at bedtime. Brooks gets a bit sad. And we knew he would be the one to be sad. He is the lover of the bunch and so honest with his emotions. (He will be such a good husband one day!) And Tanner seems to be doing his normal thing. Getting out of bed at night every night is his M.O. (Mom said last evening the last time he got out of his bed - he went to sit on the landing on the steps and had a crazy hat on. That cuteness is how he gets away with EVERYTHING!) Tan knows how to get the extra snuggles in the quiet of the evening. When you’re a third child you have to figure out how to work it in! I’m trying not to think about how many days we have left. It just gets be sad to think about.
On to the most emotional day of this journey. Or one of them.
Oh - and just for kicks - Soudelor is the typhoon that hit Taiwan and southern China last night. It is the strongest storm on the planet this year. Hope the US Consulate is still standing when we get there next week. And just to be clear - this storm is actually called a super typhoon. Yeah.
We didn’t have to meet Tom until 9:30, so we had some time in the morning. I still woke up around 4:45 and couldn't go back to sleep. So I watched a show. Headed to our last breakfast in Beijing. It’s been a fascinating time here, but the honeymoon phase is over. I’m not a big city girl. Ever. And definitely not a big city in the emerging world.
We went to the train station - which is a lot like an airport but much easier to navigate and you don’t have to check your bags. Hopped on a bullet train to Jinan and didn’t see much of anything on the way. Very rural and it appeared to be agricultural. We arrived in Jinan and met our guide John. (These people aren’t really named these American names - they are just made up. Really.) He told us we were going immediately to the orphanage. And we were picking up one other couple and an additional translator on the way. We literally picked up the other couple at a gas station. Rendezvous spot. And we drove through what appeared to be a third world country. I didn’t even realize we had arrived at the orphanage until John said we were pulling in. I knew where we were going, of course, but the arriving part is such a jolt. We snapped as many pictures as we possible could. This will matter to Claire one day. As we were walking in to the orphanage my tears were flowing. Unbeknownst to me we were walking in to the main room area, and the nannies were holding the babies to hand them directly to us. a minute after I got out of the bus, I’m holding Claire. And in hindsight all I think I kept saying to her was hello. Not even “Knee-How” (hello in Chinese). Lots of paperwork to do and then a tour of the facility. The nanny who gave me Claire was crying herself. And it was so clear to me that Claire loved her. Claire kept reaching for her. They had a pretty special bond. Not sure if I freaked her out by hugging the nanny, but it felt right in the moment. (My sense is that the Chinese are not touchy feely, and they aren’t terribly interested in chit chat.) I am grateful to that woman and how she cared for Claire.
(In hindsight - there is just no way to prepare for that moment. And I think in the moment I wasn’t emotionally prepared for Claire’s needs. We do have quite a bit to work through with her in the coming years. And we will. But no amount of reading, learning, looking at pictures can prepare for that moment.)
So the tour. That orphanage is an amazing place Claire is healthy, smelled very clean, clean clothes, and she is obviously well fed. We walked through a section that had pictures of the history of her orphanage. It has been around since the late 1800s. It was started by the Catholic church and is now fully funded by the government. We then went upstairs to the rooms where our kids lived. Called classrooms. And they really seem to be happy places. Toys, great playmats. A playroom much like you would see in the states. And there is a mini hospital inside the orphanage. (I think I heard John say that). They currently have 600 children living in the Jinan Child Welfare Center. They receive about 100 children each year, and about 100 children are adopted out each year. Most of the kids are adopted by US citizens. A few other countries do adoptions from China- but very few. Italy, Norway, Finland, Spain, and a few others.
We then walked outside to get pictures, and John showed us 12 homes that are connected to the orphanage - foster families who are volunteer foster parents for the kids at the orphanage. One foster father came outside and hugged one of the little girls goodbye. So sweet.
An amazing place - it’s a compound. More buildings than I can count. Playgrounds. Dogs! (I told Kyle Claire should be used to those two dogs barking so our two dogs shouldn’t be too odd to her.)
We got in the bus and headed to a copy shop to take a picture of us with Claire and make copies of our visa. All for our paperwork tomorrow. Came back to the hotel and checked in. This one really is a five star hotel. So so nice. Hyatt Grand Regency in downtown Jinan. And a great shopping area one block down. We went to Jinan’s version of Babies R Us and loaded up on food for Claire. And teething stuff - she has teeth!
Stopped at McDonalds for dinner. So gross. My food today - fried rice for breakfast, a larabar for lunch and half a junior cheeseburger for dinner. (The Hyatt has really good food and a fine pastry “bar” place. It feels like home.)
Claire likes to eat - for sure. And she hates baths. And she falls asleep really easily. I’ve learned she sucks on her fingers to sooth herself. Certainly because she is teething but watching her fall asleep, it’s her version of sucking her thumb.
Backtracking a bit - pulling in to the parking lot at the orphanage, I think everyone was thinking and feeling crazy. Molly asked if someone would pray for us, and Kyle did. So glad. Kyle has been my rock through this. I’m holding my breath and he is cracking jokes, making everyone laugh, having a good time, making all the kids smile for the pictures we had to the take this afternoon, and he is so confident. So sure. And so so excited. I will be. I am. It’s just really far beneath the freaked out ness I have right now. This was absolutely the hardest day of my life.
Random - I had my second beer tonight. I can’t stand beer. But for some reason it’s appealing to me here. So weird. Only other time I’ve ever craved beer has been during my pregnancies. Odd coincidence.
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